The Wishes of Heart.

I´m tired, stressed, and sometimes a sensation of anxiety, don't let me breathe, locked

myself inside my own world, my weary mind make me sleep on the carpet, doesn’t matter

anything, one sensation of guilty and undone, crushes me, I losing my identity

as consequence divorce, I got so many questions unanswered about my dysfunctional

relationship. 

        Few months after I trying to get calm, although feel undone, questions around my

mind, whether I lost my last chance or I have wasted my time.  However, I do not know

or what can I do. Something rare, and confused, just I want to find some peace in my mind,

but I can´t hide my truth,  was bad experience get a divorce, but occasionally necessary

make a deal when we don´t find solution, and doesn't works couple, however if everyone

needs another way, better looking for other opportunity to keep on or make a new

relationship. Anyway I have to do one step forward, and begin again after a deeper

lesson,  also started to understand some things, therefore, looking for sense to live my life,

and my sincere desire to be better person, was the most important thing to me. 

   

     Considering this, my ego has broken, without wings to fly, but avid to start again.

 My first time bend on my knees, and ask for humility to me make feel a new sensation to

living, and find one way to feel happiness. my weary mind, starting to feel so good,

I am learning to feel better day by day, I am beginning to be self-sufficient, and persistent

to search answers to find the word  God as fact as fact I become conscious of God, I knew

that God give us if we ask. The Bible is full of promises that God has for each of us.

 My goal is discover the promise that the Lord has intended for me. but  I discover one lack

on my life,  I mean, I needed strongly faith, that big problem to I don’t know how I can

resolve, because I don´t know what is faith, and how I can get faith in my life, one

important reason to get one spiritual style to life. 

          Many times I claimed to see Jesus Christ, or see a signal from him, also a ray of light

shining my room,  my thirst for him, preceded to change my heart, I thought, I not sure how

is working that, although I keep encourage, and waiting for him.

       I have had to accepting helping by Christian man, but he had abandoned me,

and refused to teach me the God's Word, because I didn't want follow his recommendation,

I couldn't let to heard my favorite music, he never know how much  hurt me, that ugly

attitude. Is really hard cross the line, to spiritual life world, however, was most strong the

wishes of my heart.

 

    Practicing, believe every day, in a sane way to obtain good results, pursuit to get faith

was my goal and trust in my Heavenly Father.   

    

        The loneliness was my first dare, and learn to be persistent, to be capable about

enjoying the simple things. For instance my  blue jeans make me feel happy, because is my   

favorite,  soon I see changes in my thoughts,  my point of view through Heavenly Father

let me do a positive things, try to be obedient, of course God knows everything about us.

          Our sweet Lord knows what is better for our lives, the especial moments planed by

Him, comes to help us.

       I remember that I asked a lot wishes every time, but God didn’t

heard me, and tire to ask to Heavenly Father many things, my wishes

disappear, and ask less than before, I thought that He denied me all, I felt disappointed, for

pretending a lot, so I got a conclusion. “ I'm not ready to receive blessings from Him”.

maybe was not my time, but I keep on trust firmly in God, unless I didn’t have an

accomplished wishes, sadly I see that my faith was a weak,  I intend again

to pursue the faith by the time I forget almost all my petitions, but I receive some

revelations on my dreams, my older daughter born, and two year  after my son born in the

same month and one day before my birthday, only I knows that means God never forget.

He gives the real happiness and sense our life in the right moment.