Looking for a kidney

My life is a routine, is in stand-by, without major changes,  I just have some projects, I have dreams, although I don't know what I want,  my dreams, my challenges and wishes, are waiting for me.

One night I watched TV, suddenly a strange impression came to me as if something would happen. I was a little bit nervous, in that moment there began some changes in my life: strong, physical, moral and spiritual. Something woke up in me, and I started to feel different things inside my mind, as if lost in my thoughts.

Days later the phone rang at almost midnight, and I heard the serious voice of my mother

talk about my father who was sick in the hospital. I woke up but was almost asleep, and I 

had to go and look for him without knowing bad news was coming to us. We expect

awaiting his medical discharge, and I never thought  or even imagined, in the fullness of his age and skills that my father Miguel would be falling down  badly sick, that the household would have difficult times,  or that our life would have strong changes, also spiritually we would be tested to see how strong  are our faith and fortitude.

in the morning we get the medical diagnosis, doctor's face is pessimist,  here we have bad news for us was not good the result.

- Miguel, commented the doctor. You have Chronic kidney disease this means, that your sick there is no cure  and you will worsen until you die, our words were drowned in a sad silence, while tears rolling on my cheek, the sorrow it was inevitable .

minutes later, I realize I'm walking on the boulevard at 8:10 morning, people came and went, everyone in a hurry to get to work, the orange color of sun rays on  distance are playing among the clouds. Nobody knows how much sad I feel. I would arrive at home and rest on my bed, while Miguel was lost among these people, I know that he needs stay alone together with my mother to talk and meditate.

too much pain and tears, in short time, make feel exhausted me more than I expected . think in  life my father helplessly is extremely exhausting.

Past a couple days, I go to visit Miguel, motivated me see his courage, seeking alternatives to get his health, definitely I strengthened despite adversity, never give up although he needs of money, he sold his car to obtain attention in hospital private.

Even if you are on the edge of a abyss, it’s possible draw strength from nothing for fight to life , because I saw how much he wanted to live subtly, glimpse the importance, the householder to  their sons and his wife , at times, I'm a coward to face this reality , just a hint of value allow me to stay in expectation for good times, despite It was increasing worse

I saw him knock many doors, hoping perhaps to get another reality or another diagnosis, I saw how he has been spent his money, slowly until reaching the last stages when the reality is different. knock doors without receiving the  desired results,  but finally realized and decided to accept the fact that they no changes, in others places, the result will be the same.

one option was a kidney transplant in a private hospital but too expensive. The options became less , it was time to return to social insurance and sign up, on a long waiting list, until someone died, then family allow donate his organs. or  family member wants to donate a kidney and it really is not easy to ask someone if would like to donate an organ, is complicated, his brothers could not help, To date I keep wondering , as I will ask for a kidney, I guess it must be shocking and frightening because depend of other, your life to take a big decision. Accepting the facts has been truly chaotic, one day  I sit down to talk, and  I say,  want to give you a kidney. he was speechless, couldn't say any word more inside me feel satisfaction  but afraid at the same time

during one year I hate the injections I could not stand more.

Inadvertently the time is gone, the big day that we imagined  has come, from the hospital calls me that I have to report, we are taking the place of  two brothers. sadly they lost their turn, the reason was one of them took a decision to withdraw at the last moment and is no wonder, is the fear that sometimes if you let it overwhelms and dominates , but during  a year, all efforts, sacrifices and all work by the medical stations specifically the donor is goes trash. I remain amazed for that decision , the impact caused in others, after all, he knows the real reason, has been a strong decision.  one night before the surgery the stress has caused a pain in my neck , feel my shoulder as hard as a rock and nervous, because the fear of death is not hidden , but something unusual has invaded me, a stranger,  sarcastic and tyrant is my roommate, he laughing of me, when make me the bowel enema,  scathing mockery see who came first to the bathroom. I don't want to laugh, overnight in these circumstances but he broke the ice, was not normal. I can see the sunrise, when two men come for me  and literally tied with a brown belt , I felt lost without escape.

Disgusted maybe, the simple fact is ironic, when I remember me laugh.

long way to the hall, and I see my dad there in his stretcher, waiting to enter the operating room, before we enter, we squeeze our hands and we talk few words to motivate us,

 there really is a strong emotion I couldn't hold my tears , I felt lost forces, finally someone approaches the door of the operating room, and  tell me  greet to  my dad again but I did not because I do not want to feel rare emotions, was enough. I turn my face to see my surroundings and  askance I see a white watch, that mark the eight forty-five minutes, I see the operation table thin crosswise , my open arms tied, I was on as if they would crucify me, someone asked me to count to ten ...

They have spent many hours that I suspect it's three in the afternoon, and I'm in my room, after intensive therapy, when suddenly I begin to feel strong contractions that cry of pain, I see my brother scared out of room and my girlfriend is next to me, the nurse prepares an injection of synthetic morphine, Nubain, for pain but doesn't makes me such analgesic effect and still screaming in pain for several minutes.

It has been three days and I'm standing, starting to walk in my mind is to go home soon, a doctor appears and makes me a not inconsiderable invitation. Would you like see your Dad? , I had been babbling almost without knowing what to say, was surprise question, finally as I commented that if you want to see,  but basically I'm terrified to see him and curious how is he. I'm coming to his room and I wear a surgical mask and sterile gown equally sterile cloth shoes, when I cross the door He is sitting in a chair that looks comfortable, face is swollen, when he look at me, begins to mourn and I hate to see him mourn so, I want to be strong and balanced, but we both know what we have achieved and in the background I'm sure there is satisfaction.

Days later he is going home, I'm staying more days trying to overcome a slight pulmonary complication so my enormous desire to vanish from hospital. I have to wait patiently until recovery.

in those days there is a great feeling that flood my soul , I begin to feel a great appreciation and respect for the people who have helped me looked after me , but there was someone who left me an indelible message that was left in my mind , from my neighborhood, a distinguished gentleman a lawyer appeared at the door of my room and with its pleasant conversation I explained that I did for my father , it was just an act of humility and never forget that I am not the only donor in the world, there are thousands more equal to me and better, I consider myself one more.

Honestly I have never forgotten his words are engraved in my mind, I know he helped me put my feet on land. And finally my wish has come real, I feel happy, to get out of there. my pants would not close because I was still swollen, but I covered with my sweater I went to look for the doctors, nurses and social workers to thank them for their  help, my tears fall hopelessly in their presence but I'm happy, I found myself in full gratitude, that arises from heart, I never saw them again. They are the true heroes. Three months later my girlfriend meets another person decides to leave, and I understood one thing.  The life continues despite obstacles and mistakes.  Love is so great, our beloved Heavenly Father will always be there for anyone who wants to look for him.

Rejoice in life and leave the skin so it’s always worth love.

My dad is still alive with my lovely mom, and I have a wife and four children who I love enough to feel happy.

Rafael, this is an amazing story. What a huge sacrifice you made for your father. I can tell that you are an amazing writer with great talent for description and expressing emotion in writing. Your essay is honest, detailed, and full of interesting examples. I can also see a common theme and main idea running through your entire essay, which connects it together and shows great organization. The only thing holding you back is your grammar and sentence structure. However, you have made impressive improvement over the course of this semester. With each new assignment I have seen your writing take huge jumps in accuracy and clarity. The main things to remember and continue to work on are things I have said before and that you have steadily improved. You must start your sentences with capital letters and end them with periods. You still had a lot of run-on sentences that had too many ideas in one sentence. But, as I said, you have improved a lot and you had many sentences that were complete and clear. If you can get your writing in complete sentences, then the reast of the grammar will fall into place. When you are writing a story, just remember that you need to use the past tense because all of the events already happened in the past. Overall, I could understand the main points of your story and I generally knew your feelings and those of your father as you were writing. There were many phrases, vocabulary words, and whole passages that were very well written and clear. I know you have worked very hard this semester and I hope that you can see your great improvement and take pride in what you have accomplished. I wish you all the best as you continue on with your education!  

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